Laurie Beth Jones is somewhat of a contradiction. She is small, sure. But she has the largest breasts of any individual I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.
Despite possessing these fabulous assets and it seeming like they're the biggest thing about her, she also has a rather sizeable brain and a whole lotta heart, which gives those bazoomas a good run for their money in size.
Here's some more information about her:
I know a lovely lady, Miss L B Jones,
Who very rarely gripes and very seldom moans,
She has many interesting stories and fascinating tales,
Mainly about celebrities from her home land of Wales.
She has lots of pretty dresses and always looks neat,
Is feisty and fiery, but somewhat petite,
Her size is very similar to the people what borrow,
Yet oddly she’s a dead ringer for Benicio del Toro!
She’s often found in the pub and is always first at the bar,
Is a ‘strident feminist’ but has never burned a bra,
Which really is (for all concerned) probably for the best,
Cus she needs all the help she can get to support her humongous breasts!
Today it is her birthday so we’ll celebrate with flair,
And hope it doesn’t turn out to be a ‘Laurie’s chocolate nightmare’,
So happy birthday little’un, I hope your day’s the shizz,
Let’s crack out the cake and candles and raise a glass of fizz!