Anyone who's met my friend Laura 'Larry' Harry will know why we were so glad to see her return to our beloved city of Bristol. Not only is she one of the most naturally funny people I know, but she entertains us for hours with stories of all the bizarre situations she finds herself in.
The day Laura moved into her swanky new flat, an old man welcomed her to the neighbourhood by excreting on the street. Then on Halloween, outside the newsagents down the road, a bunch of local kids were celebrating the spooky occasion by throwing eggs at passers by. But not at Laura, oh no. When she was struck by a gloopy shell, it wasn't the kids who had launched it at her but one of their mother's in a moment of antisocial triumph.
Laura has since moved away from the area, but I'm glad to say is still with us in our beautiful city of Bristol in a more friendly locale.
Here's the message I wrote in her moving card:
They say a house is bricks and mortar, made from wood and beams,
And you turn that house into a home by filling it with your dreams.
But Larry’s dreams have now come true thanks to her super new job,
And now she’s back where she belongs there’s no longer a reason to sob!
May Larry’s new pad bring happiness, and exciting times galore,
Here’s hoping she won’t need to scream when her mates walk through the door!
May her home be just as beautiful as our ‘glamping style’ posh pitch!
And be stacked up to the ceiling with knickknacks all vintage and kitsch.
|Me, Miss Gill and the St Ives Posh Pitch of dreams!|
Welcome back to Bristol Welshy, it’s good to have you home!
And although you happen to live on your own, you never have to be alone,
Let’s hope your stay is now for good (and you keep your swanky pad neat!),
And you don’t have to see another old man doing a sh*t on the street!
© Holly Purcell 2012