Sunday, 1 July 2012

Happy Birthday Nicol McClellend (The girl who has no nose)

Nicol is an interesting character.

Although she is a rather swell individual, Nicol has had to work pretty hard to overcome some serious challenges in her life.

Birthday bestie

Not only does her nose resemble a bit of morph’s foot stuck on as an afterthought, but she also thought the world was black and white before colour television. Then there was the concern that feeding a tuna sandwich to a seagull was forced cannibalism. She also didn’t know how to pronounce her own name until I pointed out the lack of an ‘e’ meant she shouldn’t be calling herself ‘Nicole’.

All this aside, she’s actually one of the smartest people I know, and today is her birthday. WOO!

Here’s a birthday poem for Nic (I’ve actually cheated a bit here as this is last year’s ditty, but I have changed my name to ‘Ginger Purcell’ on Facebook as part of her present today so she can’t complain):

There was once a young lady called Nic,
Whose face everyone wanted to lick,
Her eyes were bigger than the sun, she had a nice shapely bum,
But her nose was just merely a trick.

She loved lounging and ‘being all cute’,
Everyone thought she was ‘a hoot’,
But when you’d like to watch telly, she’d get right on your nelly,
And put the bloody thing onto mute.

Falafel was her most favourite snack,
Her best friend in the world was called Zack,


She was an advocate of karma, read works of the Dali Lama,
And an ambulance story she’d never lack!

She was patriotic like the St George’s flag,
Always sported a designer handbag,
In her clothes she looked yummy, stolen off a Gap dummy,
Or with ‘American Apparel’ on the tag.

Today marks the birth of this lass,
And the well wishes are coming en masse,
So have a smashing day, and I’d just like to say,
You might be older but you’re still a piece of ass!

© Holly Purcell 2012

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